So I’m sitting here in a recording studio. And then the guy asks me, have you ever done this before? Um, no.
It is actually my daughter who is the singer, SO not me (she will affirm that for you if you need to validate that). I’m having one of those mornings as a parent where your nerves are as great as their nerves. Little did she know that my hands were shaking doing my make-up this morning . That MY stomach is full of butterflies too, for her. And then an hour later I am having to show a ridiculous amount of self-control to not just bust up proud cry in front of a music professional as she lays down her “tracks.” Check out all this coolness, yo. Okay, but seriously Lord, help me not to blubber too much about how God has gifted her with amazing maturity and musical ability for a purpose. The producer says she’s made for this. I know that. We’ve always know that. Now I hope that she gets it.
Have you ever felt that way as a parent? Like that, “there is no way this talent/gift/ability came from me or your dad, but have mercy and believe it child!” Of course, add early teen girl insecurity and hormones to the mix, but deep down she knows her gift, her craft. We have been fostering, not pushing, her to embrace her gift over the last few years. Now, we don’t have her on the street corner like Bieber did or mailing buckets of demo CDs to labels. You see, I want her to know who she is. What is most important. Why do you have this gift? Pushing giftedness in ourselves, or our children, for selfish gain, whether pride or profit, is wrong and certainly ends up with painful consequences down the road. Can I dare say Miley, Bieber, or even Brittany’s name without inciting a war on opinions about their public and private life choices? In short, let me just say I don’t want my child to ever experience the world in such a public way at a young age.
Now, I ultimately have no clue what the big plan is for her. We will trust as doors open and close, but at the end of the day we, the parents, are responsible for the raising up of her and the use of her gifts. But beyond just being dumbfounded at what each of our kids can do, I want them embrace the gifts they have been given, been knit into their precious little bodies in my womb. You see, I’m just now remembering, recalling, bringing back to life things that I knew in my soul, my bones that I was meant to do. Now this isn’t a big career changing, life-altering realization but simply an awakening, an embracing, of how I was wired to think and express myself. I want my children to have that now, when they leave our home, and when they raise their kids up to love their unique giftedness.
I cannot sing. I wish I could, you have no idea how bad I wish I could carry a tune. My spirit moves with music, but I am just not destined to sing it, at least where other people can hear. Honestly, one of the highlights of heaven I’m hoping is that we will all be remade whole which includes the voice of angels, right? I’m banking on it. In the mean time, I’ll just turn up my volume on my radio for your sake. I also can’t paint anything, well except walls. I can’t sew anything, seriously all buttons are replaced by my husband. I can kind of play the oboe. Well, as well as someone can play an instrument that sounds like a duck dying most of the time. I also cannot “craft” to save my child’s life, or my own for that matter. I have many expert witnesses who will testify to that as well. Why was scrap-booking ever created, seriously? I’ll have to save that whole discussion for another day. In the mean time…
What is the gift you wish you had?
Why do we wish for other’s gifts for ourselves?
Why not trust the Creator of the universe who made the lilies not wish they were tulips?
That maybe, just maybe, He knew what He was doing when He made you?
Why have I not written or spoke much the last several years of my life while knowing there is something special in that? Well, suffice to say that lies, struggles, stress, and responsibilities all got in the way. Life was in the way. But then somehow life seemed to be flat. To be suffocating me. Because, essentially I think our gifts are how God made us to breathe. It is His essence expressed through us. It brings life to the mundane, to the ugly, to the trenches of our lives each day. He is a creative, imaginative, beautiful God. Have you even looked outside today at all these flowers, blooms, and trees? Those all come from the same creative source that wrote beauty into your DNA.
Today was a reminder to let our kids breathe their God-given gifts while modeling what a life lived using my own gift looks like. This may be a silly little blog, but it is my voice, my song, my beautiful gift to be used on this side of eternity.
Although, being in a recording studio typing on my iphone notepad sure felt cooler than sitting in front of my mac on the sofa. Maybe I should take up vocal lessons? Okay. I won’t. I’ll stick to words that do not have to be in tune to be appreciated. You’re welcome.
Emily “Only Thing I Can Do”, original by Rhianna LaRocque